Please, let me fuck your mom
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
pop tarts are not kleenex
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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