Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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