I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
