Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
