two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
