Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
are you so shy because you have an std?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I am one with the molecules
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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