yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
im holly from the hills drunk
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
