How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
