fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
