awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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