I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
