brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
