Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
