how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
they're like a gay fantastic four
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
