When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
What happened to fro yo and sex?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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