I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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