Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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