No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
