he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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