maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize