I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
