the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
