He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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