I think my vagina is haunted
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
