is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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