his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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