I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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