mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she told me i tasted like america
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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