Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
