he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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