Whod you bang
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
