I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
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