I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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