he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The air was thick with penises
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
