I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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