He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I need water and some morals
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
