I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
