Me too!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize