i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
