Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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