I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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