Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
