btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Also, beer. Big fan.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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