did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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