Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
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