he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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