You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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