I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
