Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
