Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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