That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
