i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
