It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
