My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
