She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize