there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize