I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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