So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
