i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
