I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
