I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
