my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
