well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
