i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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