The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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