he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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