And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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