tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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