oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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