just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
