there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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