Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
