I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
cat food counts as protein by the way
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
