She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
