OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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