Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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