just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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