we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I deserve this hangover.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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