If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
